Christmas Time

Christmas time is my FAVORITE time of the year! I love it. I love the decorations, the smell, the cheer, family, the reason we celebrate, and everything that has to do with Christmas. Heck, we do a countdown starting in September at our house because we. LOVE. CHRISTMAS.

Last Christmas as we were gleefully putting of our decorations I thought to myself, "This will be our last Christmas with just us". I was fully expecting to have already had child or at least have one on the way by the time Christmas 2013 came around. Never in my wildest dreams did I think we would have had to endure the roller coaster of infertility over the past year. I had grand dreams of how we would tell our family...Only to be let down again and again and again.

Here we are. Two days before Christmas 2013. No baby. We are dealing with this better than I could have imagined. We are still full of joy and our thoughts are pretty much occupied with Christmas plans and celebrations. But it's still in the back of our minds. While at our family gatherings there are new babies, babies on the way, and plans to have new families. We are overjoyed for our family and friends that are expecting and that have already fulfilled their dreams to have a family. It's very hard to explain to others that we really are SO happy for them. We don't have our full family yet, but we are overjoyed with happiness for you.

This Christmas season reminds us of the true reason for Christmas. We are Christians and we rejoice that this season is the birth of our Savior. He was born to save us. He is a miracle. He has a plan for us. Maybe not our plan, but we continue to believe and rejoice in Him because His plan is always better than ours. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of that because sometimes we get mad/sad/frustrated/confused/any other number of emotions you can think of. We question - why us? We don't have the answers right now but one day we will. We will continue to push forward with hope that what is best for us will come to fruition. It always has. Even though we don't have our baby, we have so much to be thankful for. God has blessed up beyond our wildest dreams! Many aspects of our life are better than my dreams because I would have never dared to dream it could even be this good. The reason for the season is Jesus. We are so thankful for Him and for what He has in store for us. He is the reason we can still be full of joy and happiness even in this storm. With or without our baby we will still have a very Merry Christmas rejoice in this season.